i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
