Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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