she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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