he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
