is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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