I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
