The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
