I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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