This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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