I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
