sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
