also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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