i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
