Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
