Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
