Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
