When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
