You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I will die if light touches me.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
