I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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