So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
