yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
