please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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