you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
