Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
