New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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