Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
