Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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