I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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