sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
