Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
