Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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