I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
