happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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