I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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