I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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