Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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