Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
