i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
