Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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