I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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