so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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