so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
