youre lurking in front of me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
