did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
