I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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