i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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