So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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