Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
