sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
