I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
