He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Randomize
