I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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