Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
