Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
